I am weird. Yeah I said it. I need to embrace it. Most times I forget to be myself because I'm afraid of being weird in public. My social anxiety messes with my true potential.
I want to be weird, because it's who I am. It gives me purpose.
But, for some reason, I fear people. I don't fear being weird, I fear people and their reactions.
It's like an irrational fear that people are going to eat my face if I say something outrageous like "I fear people are going to eat my face".
For example, I'm the kind of girl that gets her nails and hair done...nowhere, because I don't want to talk to the hairdresser or the nail lady. I avoid those instances because it produces a very irrational high level or anxiety... On a good note, I was kind of forced to learn to do my own nails and cut/color my own hair, at home.
Then, I met Jenny Lawson, AKA The Bloggess. She's amazing. And weird. I love it.
Jenny embraces her weirdness and it's a beautiful thing.
I came across her blog when Coco mentioned it to me...Well, I didn't come across it. I googled it, and I spent hours reading the random stuff on her blog. The Bloggess gained a fan that day.
Reading the Bloggess posts was like a revelation; or better yet, an epiphany full of weird things. Good, weird things.
In a few articles, my eyes opened wide to the realization that I'm not alone. There's many of us out there, and the world is a beautiful weird mess waiting for me to be me. It was almost as if I was being born again. Not literally, because that would be for real weird, and messy, and honestly kind of gross...but, metaphorically speaking.
I was born again with the opportunity to be myself. A new me, with the notion that there is an option of being who I was meant to be, which doesn't have to be shameful or a burden to my identity. I woke up to the knowledge that I can face fear by simply be me.
Now, that being said, it doesn't mean that it will be easy. It's a rocky journey between what I discovered and where I am now. Social anxiety, like other anxiety disorders, is a real thing and a feeling so real, it's tricky. It will be hard. I will be embarrassing at times, funny at others, and overwhelmed most of the way, but I know I can do it. There are more people in the world that embrace weird than there are not, although not everyone knows it.
It is my mission to free others from the oppression caused by commercialized behavior. I'm making it my duty to wake up the weird in me, and the fellow humans (and magic creatures) who are searching for happiness in all the wrong places.
Let's be weird together (not in a gross way).